Post by Wolfman on Jun 30, 2006 16:13:40 GMT -6
Here's a funny i wrote a couple of years back for a turkey forum i perused at the time. I've also got it posted on my stories page on my web page...lol
Turkey Attack???
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Daily News:...Local Hunter attacked vicously while scouting for Turkeys! Ron Brown of Bodunk(pop 387) was recently attacked while scouting for turkeys! It seems Ron had the itch and had been setting up his deoys and calling in toms to practice for the upcomeing spring season. He had found this Large mature Gobbler with according to him a 15 inch beard and 3 inch spurs. He claims this Tom must of weighed at least 35-40 pounds. After finding this Toms strutting area it seems Ron repeatedly set up his decoys and called this turkey in for 7 days straight! The Tom would gobble repeatedly from the roost, jump down and come in at a run looking for a Hen. Ron claimed the Tom had noticed him on several occasions, but rather then acting scared he acted actualy hostile. Hostile towards Ron and very protective of Rons Decoys! Ron would actualy have to stand up and shoo the Gobbler away to retreive his decoys to return home. Over several days the gobbler became agressive! On saturday he reported he had to take a stick and poke the turkey several times to get him to back off far enough so that Ron felt safe picking up his decoys! The Tom was very agressive and seemed highly agitated when he picked up the Hen decoys, actualy following him aways back towards his truck!
Ron set up on Sunday, intending for this to be the last day of antaganiseing this paticular gobbler. When Ron Tree Yelped that morning the gobbler started a string of continuous gobbles and jumped from his roost! Ron could hear the gobbler running and crashing through the brush as he approached gobbeling contiuously. He had time to think this is highly irregular activity and then to utter an oath(unprintable here) as the gobbler burst forth from the brush and proceded to Attack him! The gobbler proceded to grab various portions of Rons anatomy(nose, ears, lips, fingers, and at one point even an unmentionable part of his anatomy) while beating him about the head and shoulders with his powerfull wings. He also worked over Rons chest and lower anatomy with his feet and 3 inch spurs(spur length was determined by measureing the depth of puncture wounds in Rons..errr.....bottom). Shortly after the attack began it seems the Tom knocked Ron unconscious and proceded to work his prostrate form over for some time. It seems it was determined that the tom tried repeatedly to switch breeding places between Rons right ear and nose, happily for Ron the Tom was unsuccessfull. Except for various bumps, bruises, abrasions, puncture marks, needing a new set of camos as well as a sudden intense aversion to calling turkeys that Ron will survive his violent encounter!
It also seems that after regaining consciousness, picking feathers from his hair and blowing turkey fuzz from his nose, Ron noticed his two feather flex Hen decoys were missing. Seems the Tom had made off with them after rendering Ron unconscious! So the Fish and Game Department has put out a warning: If a Very Large Mature Highly Agitated Gobbler is sighted during your spring turkey hunt in the company of two feather flex Hen decoys, DO NOT approach or try and apprehend by yourself. Contact the authorities immediately! This subject is considered armed and Dangerous! A Reward for the Decoys has been offered, but it has'nt been determined if the Decoys are to be considered hostages or acomplasises. Approach with Caution!
Bodunk Daily News Wolfman Reporting
Hehehe....Hunt Safe and Have Fun.
Turkey Attack???
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Daily News:...Local Hunter attacked vicously while scouting for Turkeys! Ron Brown of Bodunk(pop 387) was recently attacked while scouting for turkeys! It seems Ron had the itch and had been setting up his deoys and calling in toms to practice for the upcomeing spring season. He had found this Large mature Gobbler with according to him a 15 inch beard and 3 inch spurs. He claims this Tom must of weighed at least 35-40 pounds. After finding this Toms strutting area it seems Ron repeatedly set up his decoys and called this turkey in for 7 days straight! The Tom would gobble repeatedly from the roost, jump down and come in at a run looking for a Hen. Ron claimed the Tom had noticed him on several occasions, but rather then acting scared he acted actualy hostile. Hostile towards Ron and very protective of Rons Decoys! Ron would actualy have to stand up and shoo the Gobbler away to retreive his decoys to return home. Over several days the gobbler became agressive! On saturday he reported he had to take a stick and poke the turkey several times to get him to back off far enough so that Ron felt safe picking up his decoys! The Tom was very agressive and seemed highly agitated when he picked up the Hen decoys, actualy following him aways back towards his truck!
Ron set up on Sunday, intending for this to be the last day of antaganiseing this paticular gobbler. When Ron Tree Yelped that morning the gobbler started a string of continuous gobbles and jumped from his roost! Ron could hear the gobbler running and crashing through the brush as he approached gobbeling contiuously. He had time to think this is highly irregular activity and then to utter an oath(unprintable here) as the gobbler burst forth from the brush and proceded to Attack him! The gobbler proceded to grab various portions of Rons anatomy(nose, ears, lips, fingers, and at one point even an unmentionable part of his anatomy) while beating him about the head and shoulders with his powerfull wings. He also worked over Rons chest and lower anatomy with his feet and 3 inch spurs(spur length was determined by measureing the depth of puncture wounds in Rons..errr.....bottom). Shortly after the attack began it seems the Tom knocked Ron unconscious and proceded to work his prostrate form over for some time. It seems it was determined that the tom tried repeatedly to switch breeding places between Rons right ear and nose, happily for Ron the Tom was unsuccessfull. Except for various bumps, bruises, abrasions, puncture marks, needing a new set of camos as well as a sudden intense aversion to calling turkeys that Ron will survive his violent encounter!
It also seems that after regaining consciousness, picking feathers from his hair and blowing turkey fuzz from his nose, Ron noticed his two feather flex Hen decoys were missing. Seems the Tom had made off with them after rendering Ron unconscious! So the Fish and Game Department has put out a warning: If a Very Large Mature Highly Agitated Gobbler is sighted during your spring turkey hunt in the company of two feather flex Hen decoys, DO NOT approach or try and apprehend by yourself. Contact the authorities immediately! This subject is considered armed and Dangerous! A Reward for the Decoys has been offered, but it has'nt been determined if the Decoys are to be considered hostages or acomplasises. Approach with Caution!
Bodunk Daily News Wolfman Reporting
Hehehe....Hunt Safe and Have Fun.
I GUESS THAT WAS ONE TOM WHO WAS TARD OF BEING TEASED WITH A DECOY, HUH?
