Post by donkey on Aug 1, 2006 6:37:25 GMT -6
standing in the checkout-line at Wal-Mart, buying a fifty pound bag of Purina Dog Chow.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I said and that I was starting "The Purina Diet" again although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital the last time I was on the diet.
However, I said the upside to the diet was that I'd lost 50 pounds before I woke up in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it worked was to load your pants pockets with the Purina nuggets so you could eat one or two every time you felt hungry.
Since the food was nutritionally complete, I said I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line behind her was now completely enthralled with my story, particularly a big burly guy in line behind her.
Horrified, the woman asked if I'd been poisoned by the diet.
I told her "No." and that I ended up in the hospital only because I had been sitting in the street licking my balls when a car hit me.
I thought the big guy behind her was going to have to stagger out the door from laughter.
Note: borrowed from a neighbor site.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I said and that I was starting "The Purina Diet" again although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital the last time I was on the diet.
However, I said the upside to the diet was that I'd lost 50 pounds before I woke up in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it worked was to load your pants pockets with the Purina nuggets so you could eat one or two every time you felt hungry.
Since the food was nutritionally complete, I said I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line behind her was now completely enthralled with my story, particularly a big burly guy in line behind her.
Horrified, the woman asked if I'd been poisoned by the diet.
I told her "No." and that I ended up in the hospital only because I had been sitting in the street licking my balls when a car hit me.
I thought the big guy behind her was going to have to stagger out the door from laughter.
Note: borrowed from a neighbor site.
